Here are the facts in Jonological order.

Jono is a nickname I was given growing up in Australia. In Oz everyone from the Prime Minister to your Garbage Man gets a nickname whether they like it or not.

There is this unwritten formula that is passed down through the generations. Generally we add "o's" to the end of someones name (Dave becomes Davo). But when that doesn't sound quite right, we might change add an "ie" for example if your name is Rob you may become Robbie. As if that wasn't confusing enough and if we really want to get fancy we will replace the R's with Z's.. and add an A (i.e. Murray becomes Muzza)... which after a while "Muzza" will be become antiquated and be abbreviated to "Muz".

In the US people ask me why we do this. It's too bloody hard to explain.. we just do it OK?? We really don't know why.. I get asked so often that I will start to make shit up just to explain it... I have about 7 different reasons I use ranging from laziness, rebellion against the British Class System and even used once told someone it was an ancient aboriginal custom (I think they believed me)....but the truth is... we don't know... it just happens... get used to it.

The weirdest part in all this is that nobody ever would introduce me with my last name, they still don't:

“Hey Mark, these are my friends Joe Smith, Bill Brown and uh Jono"

Why the hell do they never give my last name? It’s not like was famous (like Bono, or Madonna).. I was just “Jono” and this used to really piss me off because I saw this as insulting, like I wasn't good enough to have a last name.

On some occasions the nickname you have may be only a temporary thing. Over the years I was given names like “Wombat”, “Horse” and once I was even called “Bogo” (those people now walk with a limp). The one “Bogo” is interesting though..... this is actually a nickname that derived from a nickname. It's like having one nickname is not enough. "Jono" stuck so hard it became a real name so they had to give me another???

Despite the multiple nicknames, “Jono” was the one that stuck, even when I tried really hard to lose it.

In 2000 I moved from Oz to London and at that time I decided I wasn’t going to tell anyone that my nickname was “Jono” - my name henceforth would be “Jonathan”.. there you go.. that’s more professional right???

Immediately, for some reason the English started calling me “Jono” too! I guess I must just look like a Jono or something?? I became resigned to the fact that I would now be a Jono, never a Jonathan.

December 2005 I moved to San Francisco, and suddenly everyone loved my name “What’s your name? Jono? Wow, that’s cool I like that”…. Suddenly… by sheer geographical displacement I had a cool name… In the US "Jono" is not common, tacky or something everyone called John, Jonathan or Johnson gets called… I’m Jono… and dammit… NOW, after 36 years I kinda like it....